Well after my foray in outer Piketberg (there’s enough there for another email!) I’m back in Pretoria! And started back with brand new students, and I do mean brand new! The final years have left to go on study leave, and with any luck, progress on to become fully fledged members of the veterinary community, which leaves these students, well, in the deep end!!! And although they have all the enthusiasm in the world, and quite a lot of the theory, they have none of the practical experience, as you will shortly find out! So there I was faced, on Monday morning, with 12 bright eyed, bushy tailed, super keen students! The department is trying out a new system whereby the clinician on duty (ie. Me) is helped by a mentor + a second resident. The mentor is just supposed to be there in a supporting role if you need advice/help with procedures, but the actual day to day running of the clinic is down to, well, me. So now I have 12 students to literally look after...24/7 for 4 wks!
A typical microscope session would go something like, Me,”So, are these sperm alive or dead?” You’d think that was a pretty obvious answer?? All students studiously studying the eyepieces, not volunteering a word. Me,”Come on guys, it’s a 50:50 question?! What do you want to do? Phone a friend?? Ok, so they’re all dead... moving on!”
The first casualty happened on Wednesday... I left them alone for literally 5 minutes, with the words, “I’ll meet you at the bull!” When I arrived there was carnage; one student with a black eye + snot+ trane (snot & tears for those non-South Africans!); other students very subdued & in shock. “What the hell happened?” I asked very confused! “Genevieve was run over by the bull.” “What??? Like literally run over?” “Yep.” As it turns out, the specially designed race & crush that we have at OP to try and minimise these sorts of things, was somewhat lost on the students, who chased the bull up the crush, with them also inside the race! So when he turned around + came straight back at them, they didn’t manage to get out in time and he ran over one of them! Luckily, he is rather a young, small bull, otherwise it would have been pretty awful. As it was, the student has some impressive hoofmarks on the back of her legs and a stunning black eye!! Don’t think that she will be doing that again!
Then the next casualty is a student that has clearly been sent by the gods to teach me about patience, because she... talks....so...slowly...and...is...very...irritating....in ....a....slightly.....misguided....enthusiastic....way. As a bit of background, this is also the smallest student in the group, all of 4’2” of her! And, as luck would have it, she also had one of the biggest dogs, all of 75kg of him! Anyway, she decided that it was a great idea to take his temperature.... without anyone holding him!! So you can see where this is going, right?! Needless to say he turned around and bit her on the arm! From her account she was lucky to still have her arm, but when we examined it under the bandage, it was actually really superficial, more of a warning, “please don’t do that kinda thing” bite, so not too bad luckily! So we had a “what important, life saving points have I learnt today” session in rounds, that they a)must always try and pre-empt the next move when dealing with animals, for instance, not trapping yourself in a race with a bull unless there is no way he can turn around! And b)by getting someone to hold the dog before you stick a thermometer up his ass!
Then yesterday I was required to collect semen from a Saddler stallion that was going in for surgery on Thursday for a reproductively unrelated injury. The owner assured me that he had been used for breeding, and, in my haste, I took him at his word, which as most vets know, is a schoolboy error with most owners! You have to ask the right questions. Anyway, we manage to find a mare on heat, stallion limps over, and then proceeds to play silly buggers by rearing and rearing and rearing. Then sniffing a bit, nuzzling the mare and then starting the rearing performance again. While I wait patiently, AV in hand! Then he teases the mare, then rears again and this goes on and on for about 20 minutes until he finally, although I think it was more by luck than judgement, comes down on the mare and I was able to collect the sample! I then find out, after careful questioning of the owner (which I should have done first!) that he’s only ever bred to one mare, once!!! And even then it took him 2 hrs!! That would have been useful to know, beforehand! Then I had to do the whole performance over again an hour later!! Same story! He still hadn’t figured it out! Then we needed to freeze the semen + there was no one else available to help me and I was trying to remember the right sequence and find all the right tools and this all needed to happen quite quickly, as you can no doubt appreciate! Anyway, the dogbite student who...speaks...really...slowly...and ....asks....innane .... questions....all... of ...the...time...unfortunately had this case as well, and she was following me around the lab, talking all of the time. And I have to admit that i was a bit stressed and it had been a long day, and eventually I turned to her , put up my hand and said, “just stop talking to me please, just for a little bit. I just can’t think.” Anyway, this didn’t appear to dampen her enthusiasm at all, although she did stop talking, thank goodness! And when I was struggling to turn the centrifuge on, she continues to volunteer her opinion and starts pressing buttons!!!! I was like, “don’t touch that!” Honestly! Managed to restrain myself and send her off on some long errand so I didn’t snap at her anymore! Oh dear, it’s going to be a LONG 3 wks!!!
So that’s been the week so far! Thankfully the rearing stallion’s semen didn’t freeze well, so we won’t be collecting him again! And I haven’t had to deal with that student today, so I am still remarkably cheerful! Hope that you all have a good week!
